Mark Tolson - True confession?
At face value, it appears that Mark is showing grace and humility by appealing the wonderful nature of God’s grace. Here, he admits to being too harsh, being domineering, being unloving, overbearing, and being overly controlling.
See also:
- Mark Tolson problems
- Mark Tolson uses spiritual bullying tactics to silence victims
- Mark Tolson secret attempts to delete pages
Of course, there is forgiveness found in the gospel, but questions still remain. Do these sins disqualify Mark Tolson from public ministry? The Scriptures certainly would seem to say so. Has Mark reached out to and apologized to those he admits to sinning against? Has Mark done the necessary work of undoing the lies that have been told about those he sinned against?
One doesn’t have to wonder what Mark really thinks about those he has admittedly sinned against. He concludes his article by implying that those who have spoken out against his sin, and the sins of others in leadership at VBM are only doing so in an effort to regain their lost glory.
This excerpt is from his post below with the full post below that:
Side Note: In our day, this is an especially needed reminder. Much divisiveness comes from current cultural narratives, especially the culture that influences the church to be what it isn’t supposed to be—and destroys in its wake. The attitude from those drawing lines saying things like, “Anyone who loves Christ will…” fill in the blank with the issue they are advocating for at the moment. Social media has fueled the flames of character assassinations and shut down genuine dialogue, causing partisan splits with each side only paying attention to their side and causing cult-like separation and groups. [Explaining away actions of the cult by making it the victim's fault on the outside] Those who feel wronged by harsh and domineering behavior are given the platform to speak up, which can be good! Still, it often turns them into social media bullies who also apply the same harsh and domineering behavior they detest. There is a constant positive feedback loop that encourages more destruction and more argumentation. [This is reverse-victim and makes the victim out to be the "abuser" by calling them the bullies for trying to speak out.] Abuse is responded to with abuse, but believers should recompense to no man evil for evil. People who lost their “glory” through mistreatment seek, maybe unknowingly, as they struggle with betrayal trauma, to regain their “glory” by speaking loudly and negatively about those who caused them harm. [bold emphasis added] But no amount of causing another harm will heal their hurt. Again, the cross is the answer. It is embracing the cross and all it stands for that allows us as believers to go beyond sinning and strive to live who we are called to be!
The Cross, Courage, Character, Confession
Nov 28, 2022
https://www.inhisjoyfulservice.com/archives/26164
The Cross: Confession
Courage is facing things you fear or showing strength in pain. Character is similar to integrity: upright, moral, and honest. All of this stems from a bedrock of humility. Our sinful natures often cause us to be prideful, which corrupts character and promotes cowardice.
But this is where the beauty of the cross comes into play! The cross rips the mask off of who we masquerade around as and allows us to deal with our sin…in terms of needing to be saved from its punishment but also in terms of sanctification and becoming more like Jesus.
In terms of salvation, God has been so merciful to me! I have repented of my sins and put my faith in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour! I love and adore Him. I want to serve and glorify Him more than anything else.
In terms of sanctification, God has been so gracious to me. Along this journey, there is continued repentance towards sin and faith in the truths of His Word.
In other words, there is tremendous hope for the believer. This hope has extended to me, and I pray it spreads to countless others. May we say with Paul, “For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.” (1 Corinthians 2:2)
This journey of sanctification isn’t always pleasant, but it is one that I can be thankful for because God allows me to see my sin and wrongdoings so that I may confess them and grow in holiness. So naturally speaking, we as humans want to have an excellent reputation, be seen as extraordinary or exceptional and be seen in a beautiful light. So we often wear masks of pride to cover up the ugliness of sin in our lives. Sometimes we take the focus off ourselves and cast it on others, so others don’t realize we are wearing a mask. Sometimes we just flat-out deny our wrongdoing and become defensive to save our “glory.” Of course, such attempts result in cowardness, foolishness, and more sin.
But the truth is the cross frees us from that kind of bondage. Because of the cross, we can courageously face and confess our sins because, through the Holy Spirit, we are becoming upright, moral, and honest people just like Christ. The cross causes the humility we need for courageous living because we no longer need to protect our reputations for acceptance or to feed our personality disorders or egos…instead we face them with the truth of the Word of God. My identity is in the cross. I was a wicked sinner; God’s grace saved me, and He is changing me. There is hope in the cross! It is the only way!
As I have grown in grace, I have seen where I have failed in my leadership, been wrong, and sinned. Praise God that I have a place to go to with this burden of sin: the cross! I confess my sin, wrongdoings, misplaced enthusiasm, and foolishness. I have no one else to blame but myself.
In my leadership,
I confess I was too harsh.
I confess I was domineering.
I confess I was unloving.
I confess I was overbearing.
I confess I was overly controlling.As a believer, these things shouldn’t be so. As a spiritual leader, that standard is much higher because there are those following my lead.
I can say that it was never my plan to be any of these things, but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t; I was at times. Some were even “right motives” but “wrong methods.” I could try to say that much was immaturity and naivety, which very well may have been, but that misplaces the responsibility for the sin, which is on me for the wrong actions, words, or attitudes I committed. Whatever other factors played into it (which I continue to consider through introspection, counseling, and the Holy Spirit’s work in my life), I take responsibility at the end of the day. I sinned. I confess. I repent. And it is only by the grace of God that I can humbly see my ugliness in the light of Scripture. Praise be to God, who continues to mold me into a servant-leader with gentleness and humility like our Saviour, Jesus Christ. So I pray, and ask you to pray with me, that God continues to develop me into a Biblical leader, gentle and lowly, that leads His sheep to follow Him and Him alone!
I should have followed the Biblical guideline better: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” (Ephesians 5:21). I should have been more empathetic/compassionate. I am sorry to my family, anyone under my leadership or just my acquaintances who experienced me being domineering, unloving, overbearing, or overly controlling.
I am learning to embrace humility. There is so much freedom in letting go of your reputation and focusing on God maturing your character through the power of the Holy Spirit as He develops His fruit in your life!
True humility leads to repentance, which leads to life change from the inside out! Oh God, I repent, change, mold, and make me!
The Cross: Reconciliation
Not only does the cross allow you to be reconciled with God, allows you to take personal inventory concerning your spiritual walk with the Lord and how you are growing in grace, but it also allows you to open the door of reconciliation with others. The cross gives you the courage to face the fear of seeking forgiveness from those who hurt you or those who say you have hurt them. But, as silly as it seems, our sinful nature says this is scary because it humbles us by showing who we really are when all the “glory” is stripped away. But if the cross has already humbled you, you have nothing to fear. For the disciple of Christ, this should be a well-known path, one of humility and confession.
Side Note: In our day, this is an especially needed reminder. Much divisiveness comes from current cultural narratives, especially the culture that influences the church to be what it isn’t supposed to be—and destroys in its wake. The attitude from those drawing lines saying things like, “Anyone who loves Christ will…” fill in the blank with the issue they are advocating for at the moment. Social media has fueled the flames of character assassinations and shut down genuine dialogue, causing partisan splits with each side only paying attention to their side and causing cult-like separation and groups. [Explaining away actions of the cult by making it the victim's fault on the outside] Those who feel wronged by harsh and domineering behavior are given the platform to speak up, which can be good! Still, it often turns them into social media bullies who also apply the same harsh and domineering behavior they detest. There is a constant positive feedback loop that encourages more destruction and more argumentation. [This is reverse-victim and makes the victim out to be the "abuser" by calling them the bullies for trying to speak out.] Abuse is responded to with abuse, but believers should recompense to no man evil for evil. People who lost their “glory” through mistreatment seek, maybe unknowingly, as they struggle with betrayal trauma, to regain their “glory” by speaking loudly and negatively about those who caused them harm. [bold emphasis added] But no amount of causing another harm will heal their hurt. Again, the cross is the answer. It is embracing the cross and all it stands for that allows us as believers to go beyond sinning and strive to live who we are called to be!
Romans 12 is too powerful not to quote the whole passage here:
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
4 For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:
5 So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.
6 Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;
7 Or ministry, let us wait on our ministering: or he that teacheth, on teaching;
8 Or he that exhorteth, on exhortation: he that giveth, let him do it with simplicity; he that ruleth, with diligence; he that sheweth mercy, with cheerfulness.
9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;
12 Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.
17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.The cross allows you always to be willing to be ready for reconciliation with others. In any ruptured relationship, two parties are likely to have been offended. You will face much trauma and experience much hurt; when humans sin against each other, this results. You can always try to power through it, but I have realized that taking time to heal is the right path. The cross allows believers to be ready to reconcile with whoever, wherever, and whenever; of course, you can’t force or manipulate others to reconcile with you. Sometimes, you have to leave the situation in the hands of Almighty God. But that doesn’t change your identity, God working in your life, growing in grace, or finding a joyful life in Christ. We can know that God is using this all for our good (Romans 8:28) if we genuinely love Him. I love Him!
I desire to glorify God in every area of our life, and this is a post I felt led to write. Pray for me on the amazing life-changing journey of being a follower of Christ!